Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize