seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
