Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
