Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
