i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
where are my eyebrows?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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