You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
