I wish life had little blips of pornography
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my poor anus
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
