do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
