I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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