Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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