NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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