Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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