Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
