perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
