I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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