i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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