I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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