I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
