It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
