I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
