i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
