Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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