Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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