did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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