i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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