we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
