why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
