who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
