at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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