yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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