in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
