ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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