maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
