I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
