I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
