You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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