I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
