hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
