the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
