There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
