im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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