ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
