I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
