I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
