I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
