So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
