i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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