OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
