kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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