tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
