Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
