The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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