Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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