I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
