So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
