Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
