I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
