He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
