Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
